Out of Jail

Finally got my driver's license back from the most recent drug arrest. I'm all done now except have to buy very expensive car insurance for another year and a half.

Did I learn any thing in jail?.Sure; where the better drug deals are, how to hot wire a car with a penny and  piece of aluminum foil, always keep a Bible handy so when arrested can have some reading material and rolling papers and more.

Arresting officer asked me Why do you use that stuff, do you have glaucoma?

I must have,  I answered, Sure as Hell didn't see you.

Final tip learned; Don't smart off to cop when hand cuffed in back seat of patrol car.

Might spend a few hours parked in the sun. Just something you may want to keep in mind.

La Grange elections

City elections over in our parts. I was gonna run for Mayor but had to drop out.

My voter died.

It was so sad. I didn't go to the funeral. While everybody else was there I went over to his house and hooked my pickup to his boat and put it in my driveway.

I'm sure he would have wanted it that way.

Tomorrow I'll go over and see the widow. Maybe bring along a six-pack.

Guys Sending Naughty Pics

Some congressman sending out racy pics again, Why do they do that???

And, why don't women? Sure, some do, but it's mostly all men. I suppose it's because ladies parts are mostly internal.

What's a girl to do? Say, Hey, Look at Mine, It's HUGE!!!  Probably not.

D Day

It was D Day here in La Grange, always a good time.

La Grange has lots of Germans and it gave a day's employment to our Hitler impersonators.

We have several kinds. You got your young slim teeny bopper Hitlers, middle aged Hitlers and the always popular and Oh So Lovable Fat Hitlers.

Hire one for your next Tea Party.

Paris Hilton Crying

I was flipping through the TV channels, you know, like we do, clickety, clickety, Commercial, Commercial, Commercial, I Love Lucy, Commercial, Brady Bunch, Pawn Stars, Paris Hilton crying... Wait, What???

Sure enough, there's Paris, all weepy eyed with a box of Kleenex, so I put up the sound for a listen..

I like Paris, since Anna Nicole died she's become my fantasy bride.

Paris was on with that new English dude, going on about how it's so unfair to be a virtuous young, slim, blond millionaire in today's harsh times.

She says she was living an exemplary chaste and modest life and then BAM!!! Be seen by billions in ONE SEX VIDEO and now everyone thinks she's a slut, Ain't fair.  Poor Paris.

Well, Dear, it's the same or worse for men. A man can chase women, sleep with women, marry women, cheat with women, make the pursuit of women his life, and then BAM...

Suck ONE DICK!!!!! Queer for life!!!  Ain't fair.